


Side Step

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-08
Updated: 2006-03-08
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:00:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Malcolm Reed vs. the Temporal Cold War. (06/07/2004)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Begun when my school had a bomb threat. They sent us outside for twenty minutesâ€”in the cold with no jackets, no lessâ€”and brought us into the gym while the search was finished. First of all, you don't need a degree in weapons engineering to know that if a bomb goes off you really shouldn't be in the same building as said bomb.  


* * *

### 1\. Yesterday

The thing in front of you on the disk is white and fluffy. The thing next to the disk is cold and sharp and has five prongs. You pick the silver thing up and stab the white thing. The white thing breaks apart on the silver thing. You lift them both to your mouth and put them in. You remember this. Angel food cake; fork; plate. You remember these things.

So why don't you remember yesterday? You don't know why; you're not sure. Is there even a yesterday? Does time exist? Or is it one big lake? Never ending, always swimming? Are you even real? Are you stuck in limbo? What is this?

Yesterday isn't yesterday; you know this. Because, you reason, you would know yesterday, you would remember it. And yet-you don't. You remember this, this fork, this plate, this cake. But not yesterday; no, not yesterday, never yesterday.

And what's your name, for that matter? Who are you, what are you? Are you human? And what's a human? You look around. What is this place? You're alone. The room (is that what this is?) is empty. No one, not a soul. The walls (is that what those are called?) are gray. There are empty spaces in the walls you can see out of but can't reach out of. You look out of it.

Suddenly, you know. You know you're in a room, the mess hall. You know what a mess hall is. You know those are walls and that's food and those empty spaces are windows and what you see out of them is space and stars and that thing there is a planet and you're on a starship. The starship Enterprise. But you still don't know yesterday, not yesterday, never yesterday.

There are footsteps and the door (a door? yes, a door) opens. Someone walks in and you know who it is because part of you says you should. It's Trip; Charles, Charlie, Tucker, Commander, Trip. He says something. A word, maybe? A name? Your name?

"Mal?" Yes, that's you. You are Mal and he is Trip and you're friends. More? Maybe. He says more words (a sentence?) and you respond with words of your own because you think that's what you're supposed to do. He sits down before you and takes your hand.

"You gonna make me an honest man someday?" You don't think these new words are right. You don't think he should be saying these things to you. This isn't right. But maybe it is. Maybe something's changed and that's why you don't remember yesterday and maybe that's why you think you should respond to his words because maybe (just maybe) you think you might like this change.

"Maybe." That world feels right and he smiles and that feels right, too. You just might like this change, but you're not sure he should be smiling at you like that because you're a m-and maybe that's what changed. Maybe that's why you can't remember yesterday and maybe that's why he's smiling at you like that because you're not you anymore. Because you're not Malcolm anymore. He stands up, his hand still holding yours.

"Come back to bed, Mallory."

Yes, Mallory. That's you.

So why don't you remember you?

### 2\. A Way With Words

You're sitting on the bridge. Your console (is it yours? it's different) is churning out messages and incoherent beeps. You know you should know what it is doing, what it is saying; but you don't. You know you should understand this; you don't.

"Malcolm." That's you, right? That's your name. At least, you think it is. It sounds familiar; it seems to fit-but yet...it doesn't.

"Lieutenant." Now that's right. You look up. "Have you decoded it yet?"

You know him. That's Trip. But he's different, too. He has one too many pips on his shoulder. He's a captain and that isn't right. And yet, it is; because you understand what this is. This is a temporal time distortion; this is the Temporal Cold War. You've changed because of it, Trip has changed. He has become a captain, and you, you have gained a way with words.

Now Trip (the captain) is next to you, kneeling, hand on your shoulder and he's speaking. "Mal? You okay? Your lungs hurt?" Something else must have changed; you must have changed more. You're different. You're sick.

"Fine." You seem to have appeased him but he stays next to you and asks again if you have decoded the things in front of you. You nod because you've a way with words.

### 3\. Humans

The ship is in your sights and your captain has given you orders to destroy it.

[should you?]

Boom, bang, blam-death and destruction. You'll kill all their people;

[this is wrong, yet right]

it will be a messy affair, full of flying limbs and guts. Good bye, silly people.

[really?]

So you ready everything. The weapons are ready and charged. The weapons are locked on. Lock, stock, and-BANG!-two smoking barrels. Good bye.

[no, no-this can't be right. yet-it is]

"Congratulations, Lieutenant," the captain says, walking over to you.

[is this your captain?]

He puts his hand on your shoulder. "When this is all over, I'll buy you a drink."

You smile. The Xindi will triumph.

[do you really want that?]

Your people will win against the humans.

[are they your people?]

Stupid humans.

### 4\. Snow Falling On Cedars

Another day, another temporal shift. So now you're standing alone in an opening in a forest. White stuff falls from the sky. Part of you (the part that stays with you when the time line ends) knows that it is snow. The other part of you (the part that can't remember yesterday) just watches.

"Commander Reed?" It that you? You look around. It must be; no one else is around. No one but you and the snow and the cedars and the person who just spoke and the grave. Grave? Yes, that's what that stone is, that stone before you, that stone with words.

_Here lies Charles Tucker the Third_

_Captain, Brother, Husband, Father_

_August 5th, 2118â€”January 23rd, 2155_

Part of you weeps. He's gone. Another part of you consoles yourself with he's not really gone. Because, soon, the time lines will end and reset themselves and he won't be dead anymore and you won't be you.

So you turn around and go to T'Pol (T'Pol? yes, T'Pol. butâ€”he is different) and take your infant son from his arms. You hold him to your shoulder and you whisper against his wavy blonde hair that daddy isn't coming home just yet.

"Mallory." T'Pol puts his hand on your arm. "We must leave. If we stay for too long, the Xindi will find us. We must find the weapon." You nod because you've got to avenge your captain, your husband, you child's father. You nod because you hate the Xindi for what they're doing to your world, your planet, your ship, your homeâ€”

Your family.

### 5\. Elizabeth And Madeline

The world has changed again. You know this, you realize this, just because of the mere fact that you don't remember yesterday and yet you do. Memories rush back and you know that the man standing next to you is your brother-in- law and the dust that you both are standing in was once the home to both of you and your wives (his sister, your sister).

It's odd, you reflect, it's odd that you fell in love with his sister and he with yours. And that your loves both died the same day, that your hearts both broken at the same time.

"We'll get them for what they've done t'us," he says. This angry man is your brother-in-law (Trip? yes, it's Trip. Trip who loved Madeline). And who are you again? Oh yes, you're Malcolm. Malcolm who loved Elizabeth. You (Malcolm, Malcolm who loved Lizzie) nod.

They destroyed you home. They destroyed his home. They killed your sister and wife. They killed his sister and wife.

They would pay.

Yes, the Vulcans would pay for taking his Madeline, for talking your Elizabeth.

### 6\. Emotional Capacity

Humans.

You don't understand them.

[weren't you one once?]

They have theories that your people have proven aren't true. They think that time travel is possible.

[isn't it? what do you call this?]

Humans.

[you?]

They're ridiculous creatures. They smell and have pets and are primitive to your superior culture. You raise an eyebrow. They even have emotions.

[don't you have emotions?]

Your people

[their people]

were once like the humans. You people had short fuses and were violent and dangerous and primitive and had emotions. Your people worked to change yourselves, to become superior. Your people left emotions behind and became who you are today.

[do you want to be like this?]

It's bad enough you're on a ship with them. Humans need to change.

"Sub-Commander Reed?"

[is that you?]

You wish you were back on Vulcan, away from these...creatures, these humans.

"Sub-Commander?"

They've interrupted your meditation.

[you think the time line has changed again. it must have]

A little bit of you wishes you could be angry at them. You go to the door and open it. You raise an eyebrow because you don't know how to be angry.

[anger-is that an emotion?]

### 7\. Broke Down Angels

Change has come again to you. The time line has flipped, switched-whatever. You're not sure what's different; just that something is. Something has changed, your world is different. How have you changed? Are you the same? No, because you don't know yesterday.

"Captain Reed?" Has time turned you into a captain? It must have. So you turn to the voice. It's Doctor Phlox. A little voice in your head whispers that it's nice to know some things don't change. Phlox does seem the same. He's still happy and all alien smiles. But not right now.

"I'm afraid Mister Sato has left us," he says. You nod because some memories are back. You figured Sato was going to die any day now. He had been sick for so long. Phlox leaves the bridge. You look at Mayweather. You say you are going to the Ready Room and that she has the bridge.

You leave and go to the Ready Room. You sit down in a chair and place your head in your hands. You start to cry. The tears catch in your goatee. First Archer, then T'Pol, then Trip, and now Sato. One by one they all fall down. They're gone. But you know that the time line will change and you'll all be together again. For how long, you wonder.

You'd settle for a minute with them.

### 8\. Doctor Who?

This is different.

Well, you knew it would be different-it's always different when the timelines change. But this is even more different. Where are you? Who are you now? What is this place? You look around. This is a tent (how do you know that?). There are beds with people (are they hurt?) in the next tent. The one you are in has blood all over the floor.

"Doctor Reed." Ah, that's you. You're Doctor Reed, part of the Xindi relief effort. You're a doctor of medicine, you think. You look at your clothing. It's stained with sweat and blood. You touch your face. You have a short beard. You look at the woman (nurse?) who just walked in, who said your name.

"That engineer they said they were sending is here." You nod and tell her to send him into sickbay proper (what is that? the tent with the people? certainly not this one, not with all the blood). You walk to the tent with the people. Those awake smile and say hello. You sit down on the bed of a little girl. She's asleep, in a coma-something. No one knows who she is. You assume her family was killed by the Xindi.

You call her Elizabeth. You take her hand.

"Hi," a voice says. Part of you knows the voice, thinks it's familiar. Another part of you says no, you don't know the voice. You look up. "Ah'm Lieutenant Trip Tucker, the engineer Starfleet sent ta help ya."

You nod. "Doctor Malcolm Reed."

He smiles. Part of you says that smile is familiar, that you know it. Another argues no. You understand suddenly. You understand that you must have known him before the time lines shifted, before they ended and changed.

You hate this war.

### 9\. Homesickness

"Commander Reed! The engine's going to blow!" someone yells.

"Get out of here!" you hear yourself say. Then there is bright light and darkness together. Then there is heat and cold. Then there is noise and silence. And then, you are dead. But not really; because, this is the Temporal Cold War and the time line will reset itself soon and you'll be back to not knowing yesterday and living in a world you shouldn't be living in. Everything will be better.

So you wait in this black bubble and hope that when time changes you will be in a world that never heard of the Xindi, of the Suliban, of the Cabal. You hope you will live in a new place that's never heard of the Temporal Cold War, a place where you remember yesterday, a place where you are really you. Because you're tired of living like this, living from day to day, waiting to die so you can find a place where everything might be better.

Suddenly, the black bubble of your world shifts. You're upside down (were you right side up before?) and the black isn't so black anymore. The time line is resetting. And with this resetting, you are changing. You wonder what will become of you.

Now, you find yourself sitting at a table. Looking around, your mind tells you that you are on Enterprise, in the mess hall. A little voice in your head asks you how you know that. So you begin to think. How did you know? Your breath catches in your throat as you realize that you can think back, back past yesterday. You can remember yesterday.

Someone is sitting across the table from you and you're proud because you know that that is Trip. He smiles and talks with you. Finally, you are in the right place. This is right. You have a past, a back story. This isn't like all the other times because this time you have yesterday. So why does part of you disagree and whisper that this isn't right?

You begin to doubt as you lie awake at night. You doubt because you've talked to the others and they say they didn't experience what you did. You doubt because of Trip and Travis and Hoshi and Phlox and they say the Temporal Cold War isn't real. You doubt because T'Pol says so, too (but she would, wouldn't she?). And then you wonder if it was only you that went through this and you've been gone for a long time.

But this isn't right so you wonder is you're crazy for believing that the Temporal Cold War is real. You wonder if it is and they're lying to spare your feelings. You're confused now and can't fall asleep, so you leave your quarters and wander the ship into the wee small hours of the morning. You end up in the mess hall, alone. (isn't it always like this before the world changes?)

Eventually, another person enters the mess hall and you can see the reflection of the person through the window. It's Trip (this is familiar). He walks to you side. He stands there for a long time. After a while, he puts his arm over your shoulders in a way you imagine a brother would. He speaks, too, after a while. He says that it will get better soon (doesn't it usually?) and this is real and the Temporal Cold War is just a dream. You wish you could agree and say that this was all just a bad dream; but it isn't and you know the war is real.

They are all lying to you and you're pretty sure you're crazy.

But at least this is real.


End file.
